I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.