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He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
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