I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
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So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
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I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.