Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (816)

Last Night in Missouri (816)

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you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.

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(816): you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell. http://tfl.nu/74j4

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Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work

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(816): Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work http://tfl.nu/ppy0

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He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.

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(816): He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner. http://tfl.nu/o8kh

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FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...

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(816): FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine... http://tfl.nu/7ts7

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this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..

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(816): this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live.. http://tfl.nu/uh98

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you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too

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(816): you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too http://tfl.nu/2c4t

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Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?

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(816): Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king? http://tfl.nu/6ro0

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I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now

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(816): I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now http://tfl.nu/vuci

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Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.

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(816): Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry. http://tfl.nu/0tqt

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Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought

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(816): Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought http://tfl.nu/gjm9

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I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand

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team rage. no explanation necessary

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(636): I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand (816): team rage. no explanation necessary http://tfl.nu/mquv

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My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles

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(816): My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles http://tfl.nu/kz93

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You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you

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(816): You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you http://tfl.nu/d6cu

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i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.

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(816): i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else. http://tfl.nu/65tn

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All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother

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(816): All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother http://tfl.nu/4v9d

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Last Night in Missouri (816)

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