Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Missouri (816)

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?

  (636): View more from Missouri

  you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?

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  (816): you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint? (636): you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint? http://tfl.nu/hfu5
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom

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  (816): apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom http://tfl.nu/n80z
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  ..So we should take it off Youtube?

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  (660): THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you. (816): ..So we should take it off Youtube? http://tfl.nu/93os
  Replies (28) Good night (10458) Bad night (1290)
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  we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring

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  (816): we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring http://tfl.nu/1aqf
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  Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"

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  (816): Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face" http://tfl.nu/0o08
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time

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  (816): peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time http://tfl.nu/fl0l
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  If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story

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  (816): If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story http://tfl.nu/6mc2
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  i hope so.

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  (252): woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night? (816): i hope so. http://tfl.nu/2flb
  Replies (18) Good night (5058) Bad night (1113)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  So we're fucking tonight?

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  (816): You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf. (1-816): So we're fucking tonight? http://tfl.nu/2x8n
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.

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  (816): Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year. http://tfl.nu/x2rq
  Replies (8) Good night (314) Bad night (1085)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.

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  (816): dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock... (1-816): Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings. (816): that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it. http://tfl.nu/66g0
  Replies (35) Good night (11608) Bad night (1041)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court

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  (816): His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court http://tfl.nu/ow7w
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??

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  (816): I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right?? http://tfl.nu/udb6
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.

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  (816): I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else. http://tfl.nu/ftgf
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Hookers taste better with whip cream

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Fair enough

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  (417): Hookers taste better with whip cream (816): Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too (417): Fair enough http://tfl.nu/svnz
  Replies (45) Good night (3760) Bad night (1018)