Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Michigan (810)

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.

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  (810): Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer. http://tfl.nu/6hw0
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  Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is

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  (810): Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is http://tfl.nu/6mxi
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  Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra

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  (810): Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra http://tfl.nu/ryel
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  I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.

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  (810): I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP. http://tfl.nu/97xo
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  In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way

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  (810): In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way http://tfl.nu/x340
  Replies (2) Good night (316) Bad night (192) Order T-Shirt
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  Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  A safari of penis I hurt to the core

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  (810): Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas? (1-810): A safari of penis I hurt to the core http://tfl.nu/q0bf
  Replies (5) Good night (739) Bad night (360) Order T-Shirt
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  you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.

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  (810): you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam. http://tfl.nu/qr51
  Replies (1) Good night (477) Bad night (244) Order T-Shirt
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  So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.

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  this is the most serious roommate agreement ever

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  (810): So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way. (989): this is the most serious roommate agreement ever http://tfl.nu/m5zb
  Replies (5) Good night (1294) Bad night (169)
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  So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.

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  They're like sad pomegranates.

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  (810): So I went tanning and I burned my boobs. (810): They're like sad pomegranates. http://tfl.nu/z57h
  Replies (3) Good night (227) Bad night (952)
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  if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.

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  is that what this stuff is?

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  (810): if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you. (616): is that what this stuff is? http://tfl.nu/just
  Replies (2) Good night (561) Bad night (308)
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  hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list

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  haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters

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  (810): hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list (989): haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters http://tfl.nu/iy12
  Replies (11) Good night (1308) Bad night (264)
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  Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?

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  (810): Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation? http://tfl.nu/9j5z
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  its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU

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  (810): its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU http://tfl.nu/okh4
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  He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.

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  (810): He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me. http://tfl.nu/paz8
  Replies (24) Good night (2917) Bad night (522) Order T-Shirt
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  Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible

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  (248): Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online. (810): Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible http://tfl.nu/lrjw
  Replies (1) Good night (891) Bad night (366)