Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video