I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable