I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb