Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My ass is underappreciated
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.