fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
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i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
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His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..