fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..