He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets