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looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
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