Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though