masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework