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so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
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