No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
What a dumb baby whore.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.