I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
What a dumb baby whore.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.