Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
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WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
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Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.