What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake