Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Follow @tfln