You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"