We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock