You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator