Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (626)

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  Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.

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  This is why you don't have nice things.

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  (626): Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread. (1-626): This is why you don't have nice things. http://tfl.nu/swqp
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  The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking

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  (626): The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking http://tfl.nu/7x03
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  We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40

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  (626): We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40 http://tfl.nu/yjln
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  While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.

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  (626): While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid. http://tfl.nu/l2lf
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  So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.

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  (626): So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential. http://tfl.nu/3n2i
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  obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that

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  (626): obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that http://tfl.nu/w2iu
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  I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.

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  (626): I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses. http://tfl.nu/ogb0
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  What's the address?

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  Too drunk. Just google it.

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  IT'S YOUR HOUSE

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  (310): What's the address? (626): Too drunk. Just google it. (310): IT'S YOUR HOUSE http://tfl.nu/ymw0
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  Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?

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  That's two questions.

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  (310): Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away? (626): That's two questions. http://tfl.nu/0koe
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  wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?

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  (626): wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex? http://tfl.nu/tokd
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  I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...

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  (626): I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned... http://tfl.nu/wvxc
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  I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.

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  (626): I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing. http://tfl.nu/hf05
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  I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for

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  (626): I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for http://tfl.nu/u8ph
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  Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.

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  (626): Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter. http://tfl.nu/7qar
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  Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?

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  (626): Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester? http://tfl.nu/lq06
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