Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I need to align my fucking chakras
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom