We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.