I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot