Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (505)

Last Night in New Mexico (505)

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea

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(505): I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea http://tfl.nu/734q

Replies (7) Good night (1975) Bad night (775) Order T-Shirt
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot

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(505): I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot http://tfl.nu/gw1u

Replies (378) Good night (1926) Bad night (53582) Order T-Shirt
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I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.

(703): View more from Virginia

OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

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(505): I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy. (703): OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. http://tfl.nu/zfcv

Replies (1) Good night (1901) Bad night (414)
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She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!

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(505): She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before! http://tfl.nu/qmyv

Replies (10) Good night (1899) Bad night (218)
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were you high?

(1-505): View more from New Mexico

When?

(1-505): View more from New Mexico

Actually just blanket yes to that question

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(505): were you high? (1-505): When? (1-505): Actually just blanket yes to that question http://tfl.nu/yc7i

Replies (2) Good night (1889) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt
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But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman

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(505): But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman http://tfl.nu/b7v2

Replies (6) Good night (1879) Bad night (528) Order T-Shirt
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She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.

(1-506): View more from New Brunswick

Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.

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(505): She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once. (1-506): Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring. http://tfl.nu/s5ra

Replies (7) Good night (1875) Bad night (183) Order T-Shirt
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Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?

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yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.

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(513): Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"? (505): yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win. http://tfl.nu/lwrt

Replies (3) Good night (1810) Bad night (502)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?

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(505): Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away? http://tfl.nu/yzva

Replies (4) Good night (1776) Bad night (333) Order T-Shirt
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I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.

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(505): I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub. http://tfl.nu/yxnr

Replies (6) Good night (1756) Bad night (298) Order T-Shirt
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?

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(505): I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet? http://tfl.nu/aavq

Replies (9) Good night (1754) Bad night (609) Order T-Shirt
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Hows that studying goin for you?

(1-505): View more from New Mexico

I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil

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(505): Hows that studying goin for you? (1-505): I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil http://tfl.nu/rkj1

Replies (5) Good night (1740) Bad night (577) Order T-Shirt
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(505): View more from New Mexico

There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.

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(505): There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy. http://tfl.nu/c3w4

Replies (6) Good night (1729) Bad night (332) Order T-Shirt
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All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.

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(505): All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks. http://tfl.nu/p1dl

Replies (6) Good night (1709) Bad night (262)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.

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(505): see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep. http://tfl.nu/be9f

Replies (12) Good night (1668) Bad night (528) Order T-Shirt

Last Night in New Mexico (505)

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