It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl