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Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She even gives head with a lisp.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
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