Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Follow @tfln
Cracked IndieClick Humor