I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.