Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "