oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP