Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut