Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (214)

Last Night in Texas (214)

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don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"

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(214): don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out" http://tfl.nu/bp43

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Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.

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(214): Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever. http://tfl.nu/bza6

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just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?

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(214): just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high? http://tfl.nu/2d1b

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She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.

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(214): She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister. http://tfl.nu/9ks8

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His apartment number was 69. I had to.

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(214): His apartment number was 69. I had to. http://tfl.nu/cn9s

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Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.

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(214): Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada. http://tfl.nu/cunl

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Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.

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(214): Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas. http://tfl.nu/702a

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come over

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yeah sure

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wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10

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(214): come over (1-214): yeah sure (1-214): wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10 http://tfl.nu/qceh

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I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.

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that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary

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(214): I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you. (1-214): that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary http://tfl.nu/469f

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In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.

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(214): In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong. http://tfl.nu/vlez

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You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.

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(214): You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet. http://tfl.nu/ajf1

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call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight

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(214): call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight http://tfl.nu/wfsk

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I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"

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(214): I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?" http://tfl.nu/quj5

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1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you

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(214): 1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you http://tfl.nu/har0

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I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.

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(214): I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this. http://tfl.nu/iqku

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Last Night in Texas (214)

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