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Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
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