I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.