How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Dating After Heartbreak
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.