I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
it's great music for shaving your balls
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.