Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people