I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?