Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.