They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
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I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
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i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.