does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?