Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me