If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
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I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
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I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis