You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.