Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar