found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
there's paper in my vomit.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep