Say something about gay babies.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
