Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Follow @tfln
Cracked IndieClick Humor