She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.