I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
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birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.