I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.