Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping