Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
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That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
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she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments