I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.