Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad