That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow